Countdown to CT, part 2
Just in case my description of The Berlin Fair wasn't enough to convince you of why I am so excited about my triumphant return to my hometown, here are a few news articles about the latest goings-on in the area:
1. World-Famous Naked Karaoke. That's right: it's world famous. We made international news for the first, and probably last, time with this.
2. Mingles. It was Connecticut's premiere swingers club until the police shut it down. Sadly, this article neglects to mention the exciting "theme rooms."
3. Massage Parlor of Ill Repute. I pegged this place as being a brothel years before the police took action. They were open late into the night, and they had NEON SIGNS in the windows.
Here's the best part: as you can see on the Map of Sin, all three of these business are located ON THE SAME STREET:
I have taken the time to highlight the street in sinful red (the less vibrant red street is a highway; ignore this), and point out the locations of each establishment, also in sinful red. The radiating yellow you see is the Triangle of Goodness, where the Dairy Queen is located.
I would also like to point out that Stop and Shop has been trying to open a new superstore on Farmington Avenue, (the Den of Sin), but many Berlin residents are protesting this because they think Farmington Ave., and this is a semi-verbatim quote, should be a tree-lined street where small businesses and bistros can thrive. Until the police shut them down for violating our town's strict decency ordinances.
And where am I in all of this? I can't tell you my exact address, but I will say that you can see my street on the map. So I used to live close to the Den of Sin, but closer still to a convent. And the local retarded child molester, but that's another story.