Vince Is Back!!!

Clearly, I am not the only person fascinated by Vince, the crappy product pitchman. Slap Chop scooped him and his little headset up for this slice of brilliance:



I love the way he throws the worthless uncleanable Slap Chop competitor behind his back into the sink. And his little pearls of wisdom! "Stop having a boring tuna, stop having boring life." He's right. My life is boring, and it's because I don't put carrots and radishes in my tuna. It's time for a change. And when he tells me life is hard enough as it is without crying over onions, he's doubly right. Life is hard, and I don't want to cry anymore! And this line: "Fettuccine linguine martini bikini." Exactly.

But is the Slap Chop made by Germans? They always make the best stuff.

OH COME ON

OH COME ON
Originally uploaded by morrisonsara

I finally get an awesome shot of a hummingbird, and it's taking a dump.

How I Got Rabies

First of all, I do not actually have rabies. The title is a joke. I feel the need to clear this up so as to avoid a frantic phone call from my mother.

Anyway! Last night I was walking from the laundry room back into my apartment, and came upon two raccoons. I knew they were around, as my upstairs neighbor mentioned them as one of the reasons why I should stop leaving a little dish of cat food out for the neighborhood stray cat I felt sorry for. But I'd never seen them before. One of them took off up a tree, but the other decided to stick around and observe me. It turned out that he loved being the center of attention and was quite photogenic. Look!



Isn't he cute? For allowing me to take pictures of him, I gave him some of the cat food, being sure to do so quietly so the upstairs neighbor wouldn't know of my raccoon-attracting activities. I left a small pile of the stuff just outside my door, and my raccoon friend got brave enough to come eat it. He even brought his shy friend!



By the end of the night, they got greedy and came back to my door and stared in at me in the hopes that I would leave them some more food. I did, although by that point they were brave enough to start walking towards me when I came outside with a bag of food, which was kind of unsettling since I like looking at the raccoons but I don't like getting rabies. Plus, they're surprisingly big and I'm fairly sure the two of them could overpower me and take over my apartment if they really wanted to. So I kind of yelped and threw the food at them and ran back inside. They didn't seem to mind that, since they got food.

New Camera!

I got a new camera for Christmas! It's not an SLR, but it's close enough for me. It's a Panasonic FZ28. It has 18x optical zoom plus I got a teleconversion lens that adds another 1.7x zoom to that for a total of 30.6x optical zoom! That's so much zoom that I just had to show off:



I wanted to take some pictures of hummingbirds, too, but there's a problem. You see, this other bird has decided that the hummingbird feeder is his territory now, and he keeps trying to get food out of it. He can't, but that doesn't stop him from trying:



He tries all day long and poops all over my porch. And if a hummingbird dares to approach the feeder, he chases it away. This is terrible! What can I do to get rid of it and get my hummingbirds back? I tried leaving it some bread crumbs to eat instead, but it ignored them and then a squirrel got them. Oh, and he also likes to peck at my windows. He'll just fly up and tap away and scare the crap out of me. Stupid bird! I hate him.

Happy New Year From Vince

Look what/who was waiting for me in my mailbox when I got home last night!



I'm totally going to get me some ShamWows now that I see they can be used to clean sheepdogs. It just so happens that my New Year's resolution is to get a sheepdog!

Please don't ask me why I get catalogs from Harriet Carter.