I Missed the Lunar Eclipse Last Night
I won't see another one until 2010.
I missed it because I was driving home from the gym and taking a left turn onto Santa Monica from La Brea, which has those accursed red light cameras. I was second in line to turn left. As everyone in Los Angeles knows, when the light changes, the two people in the left turn lane get to go. So the light started to change, but the guy ahead of me wasn't inching forward. I didn't want to get caught by the red light cameras because the car ahead of me was going too slow (like last time), and the traffic from the other lane had stopped, so I lightly beeped at the guy to move it.
He started to move, and then a bunch of things happened:
1. The red light cameras went off, flashing all over the place.
2. I was blinded by the red light camera flashes.
3. The guy stopped his car like an asshole.
4. I may have brushed against the back of his car. A love tap, if you will.
But it gets better, because after our cars met, he drove off and continued his left turn (FINALLY), while I just backed up and returned to the left turn lane behind the crosswalk. Which I think might mean that I won't get a ticket since I didn't go through the light, right? Anyway, I turned left at the next light and the guy was pulled over on the side of the road and stomping around his car.
I pulled up alongside him, and then a bunch of things happened:
1. He screamed at me: "you bitch! you bitch!"
2. I didn't want to deal with that, so I drove away. He could be dangerous!
3. He followed me in his car. I drove towards a location where I would feel safer. I was close to my apartment, so I headed
for there and hoped my (male) roommate would be home.
4. I turned onto my street, but the guy kept driving.
Which do you think will show up first? The police officers asking about the hit and run or the letter from that building full of assholes in Arizona about my $4,367,454 red light ticket? Although seeing as how I haven't changed my address at the DMV yet, they may never show up. That would be great.
By the way, the guy was handicapped. But don't hate me too much because I think he was one of those handicapped people who aren't visibly handicapped but somehow managed to score a handicapped placard from the DMV in order to get the good parking spots at the mall.
And that is why I missed the lunar eclipse.