I Missed the Lunar Eclipse Last Night

I won't see another one until 2010.

I missed it because I was driving home from the gym and taking a left turn onto Santa Monica from La Brea, which has those accursed red light cameras. I was second in line to turn left. As everyone in Los Angeles knows, when the light changes, the two people in the left turn lane get to go. So the light started to change, but the guy ahead of me wasn't inching forward. I didn't want to get caught by the red light cameras because the car ahead of me was going too slow (like last time), and the traffic from the other lane had stopped, so I lightly beeped at the guy to move it.

He started to move, and then a bunch of things happened:
1. The red light cameras went off, flashing all over the place.
2. I was blinded by the red light camera flashes.
3. The guy stopped his car like an asshole.
4. I may have brushed against the back of his car. A love tap, if you will.

But it gets better, because after our cars met, he drove off and continued his left turn (FINALLY), while I just backed up and returned to the left turn lane behind the crosswalk. Which I think might mean that I won't get a ticket since I didn't go through the light, right? Anyway, I turned left at the next light and the guy was pulled over on the side of the road and stomping around his car.

I pulled up alongside him, and then a bunch of things happened:
1. He screamed at me: "you bitch! you bitch!"
2. I didn't want to deal with that, so I drove away. He could be dangerous!
3. He followed me in his car. I drove towards a location where I would feel safer. I was close to my apartment, so I headed
for there and hoped my (male) roommate would be home.
4. I turned onto my street, but the guy kept driving.

Which do you think will show up first? The police officers asking about the hit and run or the letter from that building full of assholes in Arizona about my $4,367,454 red light ticket? Although seeing as how I haven't changed my address at the DMV yet, they may never show up. That would be great.

By the way, the guy was handicapped. But don't hate me too much because I think he was one of those handicapped people who aren't visibly handicapped but somehow managed to score a handicapped placard from the DMV in order to get the good parking spots at the mall.

And that is why I missed the lunar eclipse.

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Watch MEEEE!!!!

So I did this commentary for a featurette on the Dallas, Season 8 DVD. And now it's out in stores! BUY!!!! WATCH!!!!!


I haven't seen it yet because I'm still waiting for them to send me my copy, but I can tell you that the "office" you see me in is not my actual office, but a room at the Roosevelt. While I wouldn't mind claiming credit for a workspace filled with Dallas stuff, I don't want people to think I have a giant picture of Larry Hagman as my laptop wallpaper.

It's actually a picture of Jack Webb.


Busy busy

I got promoted at work (they still haven't figured out that I'm useless) and moved to a new apartment in West Hollywood (see you later, non-responsive LAPD and ticket-crazy LADOT!) so things have been a little crazy.  

I would like to take this space to say that hiring movers is like the best thing ever.  Worth every penny.  Even if they did show up 3 hours late.  Also, do not go to the U-Haul on 4550 Hollywood Blvd.  They didn't have my truck ready on time and when I asked them to call other area U-Hauls and get a truck for me, since, you know, I paid for the truck and was expecting a truck and had movers coming in ten minutes and no truck, they said "you call U-Haul."  I was already a little stressed out, so their poor customer service caused me to explode in screams.  I had to raise my voice, you see, because the guy was walking out of the building and I needed him to hear me.   Also they said they called me the day before to tell me my truck would be late but "they wouldn't let us speak to you."  That's right -- my cell phone apparently would not let U-Haul speak to me, nor did it log any evidence of such a call being made in the first place. Either my cell is evil or U-Haul totally lied to my face.   But it all worked out in the end since the movers were late as well.  And I love my new place even if the walls appear to be made out of paper.  At least the neighbors' conversations are interesting.  Also, hardwood floors!