Tacky Christmas 2006
Sorry for the delay in my annual Christmas pictures of tackily-decorated LA mansions, but I was gallivanting around England, where there was no internet and it was foggy:
So I couldn't post until now. Anyway, Norrywood was pretty disappointing this year. It remains pretty much unchanged from last year except that the lawn now reads "2007" instead of "2006." Other than that, it's the same old black Santas and Davids with Santa hats. Even the fake snow on the lawn is getting boring.
Did the neighbors finally complain? Did Norrywood's inhabitants take a few classes in taste over this year? It doesn't matter, since I've got a new favorite tacky house:
This picture is terrible, but the lawn is absolutely mobbed with mannequins, many of which aren't necessarily Christmas-themed. For instance, they used up all their reindeer figures and had to resort to using plain old deer mannequins I think they bought off of a hunting supply store. And since they ran out of Santas, they had to use child labor:
And then, of course, you've got your typical nightmare-inducing giant Nutcrackers guarding a rocking horse of Trojan proportions:
Across the street from this house, one neighbor bravely tried to compete with that assault on the eyes with his own special display:
It really isn't bad at all, but something about that neon North Pole sign irks me. It's the North Pole, not Las Vegas. And the sign isn't even pointing towards the North Pole. It's pointing at the snowman standing directly in Santa and his sleigh's path, trying to prevent him from delivering toys to all the good little girls and boys.
Of course, I thought it was lot worse before I saw England's contribution to this segment:
The big Xmas yard decoration this year seems to be those reindeer lawn ornaments made out of lights. I actually think they're kind of cute, but when every single house has one -- with some houses going absolutely lightbulb reindeer-mad and sticking upwards of 18 reindeer on their lawns even though there should only be 8 at the most -- they rapidly lose their charm. Last year the inflatable Santas and snowmen were popular and my dad threatened to walk around with a pin, deflating as many as possible. This year he wants to get a shotgun and go around shooting all the reindeer. It's the first time he's expressed any interest in hunting.
Remember, kids: decorating your homes for Christmas can not only be tacky, it can also be dangerous. As you can see here in Lisa "Blair Warner" Whelchel's fascinating scrapbook entry entitled "When Daddy Fell Off The Roof," an account of the time her husband fell off the roof and broke most of his limbs while trying to hang Christmas lights. It is absolutely amazing. In case the print is too small for you to read, here's a highlight:
"After the paramedics assured us that he was going to be okay, I ran inside to get my camera. As they were cutting Steve's pants legs off, I, as the family photo historian, began documenting this memory. The girls were appalled and asked increduously, 'Why are you taking pictures of this? I don't ever want to remember this day again!' Obviously, the paramedic understood. He looked over his shoulder at me snapping away and asked, 'Scrapbooker?'"
You can find entries about this and more of Lisa Whelchel's craziness at one of my new favorite sites, The Blair Necessities. Enjoy!
Hope you all have a roof-tragedy-free happy holidays!
Labels: tacky Christmas