Time To Build An Ark

The other day, several more inches of rain were added to Los Angeles's amount of percipitation this year, bringing the total to 7,093,929 inches.* I don't know about you guys, but when a desert climate suffers from almost weekly torrential downpours, I start to get a little nervous.

My car hydroplaned all the way home from work, but I made it into the parking garage safely, only to find this waiting for me:



The entire garage was flooded. It's hard to tell in this picture, but there are actually several electric wires running from the ceiling into the puddle. Slightly easier to spot is an old man (by the dumpsters). He was very sad to see that, in order to get to the laundry machines, he would have to cross Lake Electrocution. This picture was taken, I believe, at the moment he realized that his laundry wasn't going to get done tonight. You can see almost see the resignation in his slumped shoulders.

The worst of the flooding was, of course, contained entirely within my parking spot:



The Red Arrow of Fate, Cruel Fate points to my submerged parking spot. All was not lost, however, as I was able construct a crude raft out of all the waste paper in my car that would get me from my car to the apartment entrance without getting my cute shoes wet. With the help of an Indian Guide (for price of 2 sets of clothing -- quite a deal!) I then caulked up my wagon and floated it across:

My party did eventually make it to Willammette Valley, but not before losing Mary Jane to dysentery and Tom to a snakebite. But it was all okay, because my occupation was farmer, so my points were tripled!

Anyway, back at the apartment, I was shocked to find that, even though the place was in the middle of the movie that ruined Kevin Costner's career, management was spending its time and energy on other, seemingly less pressing, maintanance needs, such as:


Repainting the laundry room door for the fifth time in two weeks.

And:


Placing redundant "caution: wet floor" signs in the courtyard and, as seen above, in the middle of the parking lot lake.

With all this rain, not to mention the upcoming anniversary of the death/resurrection of Someone Else's Lord Jesus Christ, I'm starting to reconsider my religious affiliations. Evil Roommate and I, a gay and a half-Jew respectively, figure we're as likely to be Chosen People as anyone else, have started building an ark in the living room. We figure our Ikea wood laminate furniture will be quite buoyant, and we don't think it'll be too hard to round up a pair of every animal on the planet once it's finished. After all, Evil Roommate works at a ranch, so he can easily get two horses. And I'm sure Pam and Stee will give up two of their cats once they see what a good cause this is. And Gwen has a dog. That's two and a half pairs right there without even trying!

*not an exact figure