Exciting New Neighbor!
I shared an elevator with someone I have never seen in our apartment before. She was extremely tall, made even moreso by the very high heels she was wearing (I will never understand why women who are already tall wear giant heels. They are not comfortable. I only wear them because I'm short and sometimes the pain is worth it to feel tall). She towered over me in the elevator, but I liked this because it meant that if the elevator were to ever get stuck, she would be easily able to hoist me up and out through the ceiling panel, well before the emergency brakes gave out and the elevator plummeted down the shaft. That is reassuring to me. Anyway, I was eye-level with, like, her waist, and noticed that she was holding a huge bottle of Maker's Mark whiskey and her car keys. And that was it. The Maker's Mark wasn't even in a bag. "I think this lady might have a drinking problem," I thought to myself. My suspicions were confirmed when she suddenly tipped her head back, smacking it hard against the elevator wall. It made a loud sound, and she said "ow."
It's rude to laugh at people when they hurt themselves, but sometimes I can't help it. But she didn't seem to mind, probably because she was plastered. Drunk Gigantess is now the most likely candidate to be the best replacement for the much-missed Tennessee Girls, but the real test is still to come, when the weather gets warmer and people start hanging out by the pool again. If Drunk Gigantess starts throwing pool furniture into the water, we will have a winner!
Updates have been few and far between lately, I know. But I have a new job, where my work seems to be considered important and is actually looked at and used, so I don't have quite as much leisure time as I used to. It's not an unwelcome change at this point; being able to routinely stroll into work two hours late was fun for a while, but the pointlessness of it all really started to get to me. So I like the new job. For now, anyway.