MERRY CHRISTMAS I HAVE SO MUCH MONEY!!!

As any episode of MTV's Cribs will tell you, people's bank accounts are often inversely proportional to their level of good taste. This is especially true of people in Los Angeles. And on Christmas, that most materialistic time of the year, this is especially evident. I've been collecting pictures of garishly decorated mansions over the last few weeks, and now I will share them with you. Like a Fug Blog, but for houses. I apologize for the blurriness and darkness of some of the photos, but this was the best I could do considering that it was nighttime and I had to take the pictures quickly before the people inside the houses called the police on me.

Check out how people with way too much money and time on their hands have chosen to wish you a screaming MERRY CHRISTMAS with their mansion decorations:


I don't know what I like more:


the neon jingle bells,


or the snowman contemplating suicide up on the roof.

I don't know if this is for the holidays or not, but this mansion has multi-colored lights shining on it, making the house an ugly green on the left and an ugly blue-purple on the right. Oh, and you can't really see it here, but it's orange in the center.


This one is really blurry, but what you're looking at is a bunch of identical cardboard Santas frozen in mid-merry jig. That, and about 10,000 lights.


A closer shot of the dancing Santas.


Completing the mansion of dancing Santas is a big ol' Star of David/Contradicting Statement over the front door.


This is just one small part of this next house.


There is such a thing as too many lawn ornaments. I'd also like to mention that the owners of this house had a special temporary wire fence erected around their front lawn, to protect their ugly crap from getting stolen. Or mercy killed. Sadly, I wasn't able to get a picture of the FOUR SLEIGHS. Not even Santa needs four sleighs!


And finally, I give you "Norrywood," complete with horrified onlookers.


Never one to follow tradition, Norrywood's Clauses are African-American, and, judging by the "black power" gesture Santa's giving, damn proud. And yes, those are replicas of Michelangelo's "David" in the background.


In fact, this house has something like fifteen David replicas lining its driveway all year round. For Christmas, they all got little Santa hats, which is awesome. On the roof of the house are scattered pillars with busts of Venus on them. Just sticking up on the roof. That's why this is the Tackiest House In All The World. And yes, that is fake snow on the yard there.

And that's it for me. Happy Holidays, I'm going home!