City buses often sport ads for various legal services one can contact if one should get in a car accident.


I heard that someone actually dressed as the Accidentes! 222-2222 guy for Halloween. Everyone who saw it almost immediately knew who he was supposed to be, and thought it was the best costume ever.

This is effective advertising, akin to putting a Little Ceasar's billboard opposite a Weight Watchers. Because if you're going to get in a car accident in this city, chances are very good that the accident will somehow involve a bus. A bus is not the LA motorist's friend or road compatriot. They are evil, black-smoke-spewing, ineffective mass transit vehicles of doom. They are like New York City taxis, except that taxis aren't three times the size, in height and length, of your car. Buses go wherever the hell they want, whenever they want. If they want to be in your lane, they will be in your lane, regardless of whether or not you're currently occupying it. And they will pull over to pick up passengers, but not enough so that you can pass them. And even if you can, you shouldn't try, as the bus will most likely pull out at the exact second you're halfway past it, and then you will die. But if you don't die, and you're wondering what the hell you're supposed to do now that your car has been totaled by the Metro Transit Authority, well, attached to your assailant is a number for you to call!

I've had several close calls with the buses since I moved here. It's a miracle that my car and I have managed to remain unscathed. Although...maybe not. Perhaps the buses target the Spanish-speaking population of this city, and them alone. That would explain why those Accidentes signs are always in Spanish. I think someone should launch an investigation into the MTA, and why it hates Spanish speakers so much.