Lately and for no good reason, I've developed the habit of waking up really early in the morning. This is very unusual indeed for someone who used to sleep until three in the afternoon if left to her own devices. A whole new world of early-morning risers has opened up to me now, and they are weird.
On my way to 7-11 this morning to buy some milk for my cereal (Cheerios with raisins and bananas), I encountered three of them in quick succession:
1. A woman who yelled at me when I stepped aside to let her and her shopping cart by (there wasn't room on the sidewalk for both of us. I was trying to be polite. I feel the need to clarify this since there are people out there who think I hate homeless people based on one freaking comment I made in a recap. You know, I once wrote about how Jewish temple services included a buffet line to eat a Christian baby and no one had a problem with that. It's amazing how political correctness works these days).
2. A man holding a small shopping bag who also yelled at me: "all she cares about is her Kotex and her pets!" I thought he was yelling into a cell phone ear piece, but further inspection revealed no such device. I don't know why he thought I would be interested in his wife's menstrual cycle and love of pets over her husband, but jealousy is not attractive, Mister.
3. Some old guy who gently offered me a pamphlet about how God loves me. Actually, it was more like a questionnaire about whether God loves me or not, but I'm just going to assume that the answer is "yes, as long as you open your heart to Jesus" and not actually read it. I took it from him because he asked so nicely and it seemed important to him.
I finally made it to 7-11 only to see that they are now selling Taco Chili Cheese Hot Dogs! I love tacos and I love chili cheese hot dogs, so this has the potential to be the best food ever. Common sense, however, tells me that it will end up being the worst. Lunchtime is coming up soon ...