Jail Update!

I am no longer going to jail.

I went to court on Monday and stood in line for an hour and a half because even though there were four windows, only two windows -- 7 and 8 -- were actually open. This confused and angered me and my fellow line-standers, but it also bonded us all together under our shared hatred of traffic court. We were thinking of rallying to turn the unused Window 10 into a Starbucks, but no one wanted to risk losing his or her place in line to actually do that.

Finally, I was called to Window 8 after the people ahead of me refused to see her, electing to wait for nicer Window 7 to tend to their traffic needs. Whatever -- Window 7 was only nicer because she somehow managed to get the handicapped accessible window, which was lower to the ground, thereby allowing her to sit down behind it instead of having to stand all day long like Window 8 did. Also, Window 7 had a woman helping her. No one understood why Window 7's helper couldn't have just opened up her own Window 9, but we didn't ask because we didn't want to risk losing our places in line.

Refusing to be intimidated by her brusque manner, I stepped up to Window 8 and tried to explain everything to her. Her no-nonsense attitude faltered somewhat as she tried to figure out what to do next, but then she just took my original ticket and entered it into the computer system herself. This was something the San Pedro courthouse woman told me was totally impossible to do. The San Pedro courthouse woman is a dirty, dirty liar.

I got an extension on my ticket, so I have another two months before I have to enter my plea. And when I do enter it, it will be NOT GUILTY. Then I went home and watched I Shouldn't Be Alive on the Discovery Channel, because that show is awesome.