No, it's not the time my apartment got broken into, although that certainly comes close. This is something far worse: I went to Jamba Juice yesterday after a way-too-long absence only to find that my favorite smoothie, the Citrus Squeeze, was NO LONGER ON THE MENU. And to make matters worse, my second-favorite smoothie, the Orange-A-Peel, was also NOT ON THE MENU. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. Now there are no choices on the menu that combine my favorite smoothie flavors -- orange, strawberry, and banana. There's some blueberry-banana concoction that probably tastes like ass and some kiwi-strawberry crap, but nothing that combines them all. Peach Pleasure can Peach Piss Off and Mango-A-Go-Go can Mango-A-Go-Go-To-Hell! I WANT MY CITRUS SQUEEZE AND/OR ORANGE-A-PEEL!

People out there, please tell me: is this a nationwide thing or specific to the West Hollywood Gateway Jamba Juice? Because if it's nationwide, I have a protest rally to plan.